The Life of a generally angry Sailor

http://www.tom.marslands.net

THIS IS MY NEW HOME. PLEASE VISIT ME LEST I BECOME LONELY AND WALLOW IN A PIT OF DESPAIR!

Tom

Hey all. I have a new home for the journal now. I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm hoping that by self-invigorating myself with this move, I will update more often.

You can check the new blog out at: http://web.mac.com/t_marsland/

Thanks!

So, I've been meaning to write meaningful stuff here, but I'm still a little irked at the person who introduced me to LJ, so I've been doing other things.

Anyways, I'll update that I'll be gone all this weekend. Jennifer, her sister Heather, her uncle Bruce, and her sorority friend Stephanie and I are all heading halfway across the state camping and seeing Incubus in concert. There will be much drinking and fun times.

Peace.

And no, I don't consider myself pathetic, even now.

Journal – Tom Marsland II – 28 July 2007

Every once in a while, someone says something and I just start thinking deeply.  It doesn’t happen often, and to be honest, I think this is the second time in a few years that it has.  This time it was something short and simple. Jenn’s MSN blurb right now says, “I’ve found myself.”

In many ways today, I too, have found myself.  I feel at peace. I feel elated with the world.  I’ve never felt this way in my life.  To update with that’s been happening, today is Day 15 of our relationship.  On Wednesday her mom and sister came into town.  They’re both funny, wonderful people who are great to talk to. I felt like I could actually open up to them, which was awesome.  We helped Jenn move her stuff to her friend’s and to my house so she can store stuff while waiting to move into her sorority house in two weeks.  I got a bunch of food.  That night the four of us went bowling, and Heather scared us all with her bowling tactics, but we had fun.  On Thursday we both took our final exams for our WSU classes, and then her mom surprised me. I thought I’d be saying good bye to Jennifer for the next week and a half, but she invited me to come along up to Cheney,WA, for Heather’s orientation and stay with the three of them in their hotel.  We spent the last two days touring Eastern Washington University and hanging out with Heather, visiting the different buildings on the campus and talking to her advisor.  I know she’s worried about school, but I think she’ll be great.  She’s a funny, sweet girl who I think really has it together.

Last night I nearly cried just thinking about the two weeks I’d be without Jennifer, but when I woke up today, I felt so much better.  I had to say goodbye today, but I felt like all of this is just a new beginning.  I smiled at the thought of spending time with her when she got back, of our upcoming camping trip, the Navy ball, and everything else.  For Labor Day we’re heading either up north to Sandpoint or down to Hells Canyon, one of the two. Hopefully we’ll be doing some kayaking too, but we’ll see what happens.  Anyways, today when I woke up, I felt like I had a new outlook on life. I felt like I’d really found myself too, and found someone I could be myself with.  I feel comfortable, ecstatic, in love, giddy, elated, and at peace, all at the same time.  It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced.  We keep saying that we feel like it’s been more than two weeks, and it really does feel that way. I can’t imagine life without her.  I really, honestly, truly can’t.

It’s the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever experienced.

I'm happy - extremely so. I've clicked with Jenn faster than anyone else in my life. My friends that have met her like her for me moreso than anyone I've dated, as well.  We went out to dinner last night with Aido & Dwyn and while they thought she was quiet, they liked her alot.  Sarah's happy that I'm happy too, although she thinks it's a little too soon.  My grandparents are happy and can't wait to meet her.  I think I'm in love, but I'm not sure.

Anyways, I'm cooking for the two of us right now, so I should get back to that.  Here's to an unbelievable 8 days so far, and here's a pic of us that Aido took.

Happy Birthday jeni_chan!

Last night Jennifer was over.  We had a wonderful time. She made spaghetti sauce from scratch and we sat in my messy house, eating spaghetti and relaxing. We had some deep conversations about life and what we want out of it, which really made me start thinking about it all again - about everything that's happened in the past weeks.

Later that night, it rained lightly, and there was a big thunder and lightning storm.  We stood out on the grass together with shorts and t-shirts on, our bare feet in the grass, just watching the storm as we got sprinkled on. It was definitely the most romantic night of my life.  Words can't describe how I feel.

2 Buttery Nipples (half-shot of Bailey's layered over half-shot of Butterscotch Schnapps)
Half of an Amaretto Sour
2 Icehouse beers
3 Shots of Whiskey (Jack Daniels)

By the way, I'm hung over today.  But last night rocked.

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PERSONALITY
You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are romantic (100%), innovative (93%), adventurous (75%), intellectual (63%).

STEREOTYPES
College Student (82%)
Prep (77%)
White Trash (55%)


LIFE EXPERIENCE
Sex (40%)
Substances (32%)
Travel (26%)


POLITICS
Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom
you agree with around 50% of the time.

SOCIOECONOMIC
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class.
You make more than 85% of those who have taken this test,
and 4% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 46% of other test takers.

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So, I said I'd update, so here it is.  If you think you won't like what I'm saying, don't read it.  Plain and simple.

Come Saturday I was feeling pretty lonely again, as usual on the weekends when my house is empty and I'm there all day long. So I started surfing the web, doing the usual. I checked myspace, facebook, match, my livejournal, rp-haven, logged into Aido's chatroom, and the usual stuff. On match I hunted for people that just happened to be online, and ran across someone who said she was affiliated with WSU's NROTC program. (Note: They share the same program as we do. They're our sister campus, 8 miles away.)

We started talking a bit there, which proceeded to MSN.  I found out she had gone to high school with a kid who had been in our unit for a very short time before he was kicked back out. They had been high school sweethearts and had even gotten engaged before he dumped her a couple months back.  Keeping my usual atrocious hours on the weekends, we chatted on MSN until about 4:30am and decided to go to sleep because the sun was starting to peek up from below the horizon.

As I drifted to sleep, I didn't think much else of this conversation. I run across random folk all the time on sites and chat with them to no end.  Yet, when I woke up only 6 hours later around 10am, I already had a message from her asking what I was doing, etc.  Off and on throughout Saturday we chatted. She admitted there was a guy at the WSU unit she liked quite a bit, and asked me about him a few times. I knew him from the unit, and he is indeed a heckuva nice guy.

Later that evening we decided to go out because the both of us were bored. She was in the mood to dance and promised to try and show me. I said I'd actually try so long as she didn't mind the occasional foot stomp.  Slightly nervous, I drove to her place in Pullman, picked her up, and we headed to Moscow to hit The Beach, a popular college nightclub.  Lo and behold, we get there and it's closed.  So, I choose the ONLY place in Moscow I'd been to, the bar Mingles, which is where I went to get #@!ed up when I made my last promotion with the guys.

We get there. I order a rum and coke, she gets an Apple Martini. The drinks go by slow over nice, but shallow, conversation. We finish them, and walk down to the Beach again to see if it's open yet. Still closed. We figure it must be something weird with summer hours, so we head back to Mingles. I was still pretty nervous, but easing up a bit.  We got into a second round of drinks and I was loosening up a bit, when a few guys from the unit notice us and come over. I introduce her to them, we chat a little, they head off.  A little bit later, she kissed me. After the drinks were done and we'd sat for a good hour so I could drive, we headed to my place, and curled up watching TV for a while.

On Sunday, we got lunch at Jack in the Box, walked around my neighborhood a bit, and just talked into the evening.  She's going to college to become a teacher, likes many of the same shows as I, is just as big of a dork, is in a sorority, is from Everett, WA,  has a younger sister who looks just like her, and I think that's all I remember right now. Anyways, that evening I threw on my officer summer whites, she put on a dress, and we went to a nice restaurant.  We wound up going back to her place and watched TV. I asked her if she'd be my girlfriend when we got back from the nice restaurant, and she said yes. Woo!

On Monday, after classes and my study hours, I went to her place and picked her up. We wound up going to a Thai place here. She got this ultra-spicy garlic chicken / vegetable combo which almost ruined my tongue, and I got a milder (but still spicy) Pad Thai. It was delicious.  Again, back to her place, where this time we listened to music.  Today, I think we're going to go to my place and figure stuff out.

There's a little more to it, but that's really all I feel like sharing at the moment.  Suffice it to say, -I- -AM- -HAPPY-.  And most of my friends and all of my family are happy for me too.

Cheers,

Tom

Should I, for want to not bother people, not post here?  Should I hide what I write to those people, if I think they'll read it and be bothered?  I wish I knew.  They don't do the same, and I've always felt honesty was best over all.

What do I do?

As for the update, I will later. When I figure out who I'll let see it.  That list keeps getting shorter by the day.

I have a girlfriend. More later.

I need to spend more time thinking on this, I think, but I welcome comments.  I saw this on a fellow Navy MIDN's facebook as one of their "notable quotes."

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

I gripe a lot about the military.  It's a fact.  Sometimes I really dislike the day-to-day.  Then, I hear tributes to what I and others in the service are doing, and it brings me to tears, every time.

To those musicians, writers, friends, family, and others that appreciate what we're doing, thank you.

And please listen to these.  Actually listen - they're good.   The top is the best one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3bc7mdkyTw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9PwWkV4HQ4

Prepare yourself. This is a long one.

So, much to update you all on. I'm trying to be a bit more open with what I post here, we'll see how it goes. On Tuesday I went out to my grandparents for the 4th of July and beyond.  Wednesday we went to my aunt and uncle's for the fourth. That was nice, catching up with family and really old friends that I've grown up with.  One of the kids I grew up with at my old house I hung out with from probably age 5 to 11, until I moved at the end of 4th grade. He's going to college in Pullman here, and will be here for the next year, along with his two younger sisters. I still can't believe how much we've all grown and how much time has gone by.  The house we used to live in is being kept up very well by my aunt and uncle - they even added a whole section on this past year. My uncle was his usual self, and spent at least $200 on fireworks to give the neighborhood a nice, big show.  I had quite a bit to drink, and also spent a lot of time catching up with my half-sister, who's 12 this year.  Grandpa wound up driving home, and thus ended Wednesday. 

Thursday, I was up bright and early to take my grandparents new car to the dealership to get a hitch and undercoat, clearcoat, and upholstery protectant put on.  I picked up my grandpa and we were all over town. We went to the sports store and looked at stuff, buying me a bunch of ammo for my pistol and a book on concealed gun carry.  From there we went to the base and retrieved some of my uniforms. After a minor debacle with the tailor, which they fixed, we headed to the bowling alley.  I bowled my best game ever, a 164, in the set of three we played.  We went and had pizza for lunch, and then back to the uniform shop. Luckily, I managed to keep him distracted while I bought a set of his old rank insignia and medals from when he was in the Navy back in the 1950's.  I'm getting it all put in a shadow box this year for his birthday. It ought to be 'cool'.

That evening, after picking the Subaru back up, we headed towards home. Once there, I changed, and went to to a birthday party for Sarah's boss. Sarah had been paid to cater.  No sooner do I get there and the host finds out I'm Navy, she drafts me into bartending for the night! Much interesting work from then on, making drinks I'd never made before.  I got kudos from everyone though, so I apparently did well.  "Navy men know hard liquor!" was what I was told.  Lawl.  I guess it's true.

Friday led me to the old rock gravel pit up in back of the house, where me and my grandpa shot the guns.  We must've shot a few hundred rounds, I figure, because I put 94 through my gun alone.  Much fun.  That evening Sarah was going to come over for diner, but she'd had her neck adjusted by the chiropractor that day and wasn't really feeling too well, lots of pain, afterwards.

Saturday morning, I got a lovely wake up call from Sarah at about 10:30.  She asked if I wanted to come and do some hiking / walking.  Sounded like fun to me, so I packed a few things, got dressed, had breakfast, and left up north.  That evening, when we got back into town, we headed to my grandparents for steak on the BBQ and some of Sarah's home-made potato salad.  The grandparents asked me again about us dating, which I said wasn't happening any time soon. My grandpa felt I needed a reminder that he "already loved her like a daughter-in-law" which is nice, but was a bit unnecessary right then.  We had a nice dinner, and then she suggested playing cards. We all had a few drinks and played poker with chips until about midnight / 12:30.  I had drank more than Sarah, so she drove us back to her place.  I slept in her spare room on her pull-out couch, which has now become known as my room at her place.

The next morning, she invited me to go to church with her.  It was extremely nice, and much different from what I'm used to, being raised with the Roman Catholic church.  This was a contemporary ceremony, and was similar to Roman Catholic formal ceremonies with the readings, gospel, and breaking of bread, etc.  But this was more friendly. At the beginning, the pastor asked all visitors to be introduced, so she introduced me to the whole congregation. Then, at communion, the pastor had remembered my name and addressed me by it when I approached to receive the bread and wine.  He knew every member by name and addressed all of them as such as well.  Also, a couple of stories really made me think. I'm still digesting right now all of this, though.

After Mass was over, I headed to the grandparents, had food, visited, packed, and headed out.

That's about that.

Now it's official. I'm staying. Jesus.

Oh, and I'll be out of town the next few days. Message me and I'll give you my #, if needed. Hitting up Seattle.

I'll be out of town until Sunday.  Anyone that needs to get a hold of me, call my old house phone: 360-554-4217. It's forwarding to my new cell phone #, which I'll give out on a case by case, due to a need for privacy issues.

Ah, I love the Navy.

It isn't official yet, me and R.C. staying, that is.  OD1, our command's direct boss, has approved it.  However, HIS boss, N133, has not.

Still waiting.  

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. -Marcel Pagnol"

True? Not? Partly?

Thoughts?

So, I've got some bad news and some good news.  The bad news first.  Things with Kim aren't going to work out.  Oh well.  Moving on to the good news, which -far- outweighs the bad.

Word from Washington, D.C. arrived today.  Both R.C. and I are officially staying in the officer program.

W00t!

Oh, and... I love all youse guys.